The Great War
by CharlieSweets
Summary: AU: Blair is devastated. Her most beloved brother, Dan, is going to war and she is left behind by herself. Or, she has Serena, but then Blair does the unthinkable: She cuts off her hair and joins the army as well, disguised as a man. Who is the mystery man on the train? How does she handle to fall in love with a man who thinks she's a man, too? Chair. Begind in 1914, The Great War
1. Prologue

**AN: Hey guys!**

**This is my first FanFic about Chuck and Blair and I really hope you'll enjoy it! I'd really appreciate if you leave a comment/review about it, because I'm so nervous about my work!**

**The story takes it place in the beginning of "The great war", which was the first worldwar.**

**Can't wait to see/read what you think about it!**

** -Charlie xoxo**

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The letter arrived in the morning at October 2nd, 1914.

I remember it as was it only yesterday. My father and my older brother read it together in our dining room. I remember my mother reading the letter afterwards when my father handed it over to her, and I remember her making a loud moan and tears falling down her face. The woman, who I'd never in my childhood seen cry_ once_, was breaking down for perhaps the first time of her entire life.

They forgot all about me in the coming days. Even though I had a small idea of what the letter was about, still my parents hadn't felt it important enough to involve me in a case which apparently brought them unhappiness and sadness.

It was about the war, no doubt. We'd all feared the letter to show up outside of our apartment door one day, and now our worst nightmare had finally turned into reality: Dan was expected to turn himself into the english military and fight for our country against the germans as all the other young men in his age were.

I literally thought I was going to die. My beloved older brother, who I'd swear my mother loved more than life itself - even more that she loved me - and who I loved more than anything, was going to put his life into danger because of some ridiculous war which had started in the eastern Europe. I felt like crying my eyes out and sometimes, when my eyes were excruciating sore blamed of days of crying and had weakened my sight, it felt like they already had fallen out of my head. I wouldn't have been surprised if someday a pair of deep brown eyeballs had been laying on my pillow next to me.

It took my parents exactly 13 days and three hours to tell me.

They decided to do it the day before he was picked up by the large truck among twenty other young men who'd left behind all of their loved ones and now drew into war and the open fire of the german cannons. If Dan was only that lucky that he ended up in Germany...

I found him in the courtyard. He was sitting underneath the elderflower-tree and was sipping water from a glass bottle. A book was laying in his lap, which undoubtedly was one of Goethe's masterpieces, and ironically I thought that maybe it would be good for him to be in Germany and learn some of the language. At least enough to read the poems in the original form.

As I walked closer I thought about how calmed he looked. It honestly tore my heart a little. How could he be so calm and uncaring when I was about to say goodbye, maybe for the last time, to the man I loved and adored the most? How was _I_ ever going to be happy again if my brother died before I got the chance to tell him that I was finally okay on my own and that I would never had survived without him by my side?

"Dan?"

I stood right in front of him and blocked the late autumn sun's rays which made his mahogany curls look like silk. I sat down next to him and leaned my head on his brood shoulders.

"I'm gonna miss you so much, you know that, right Blair?", he told me softly and the only thing I could do was to nod my head. It was unbelievable hard not to cry, but I did my best not to let the tears fall and let him see how much I was hurting. I was unsure of my voice, but I finally managed to let out a few words.

"I'm gonna miss you, too. So, so much, Dan!"

I couldn't restrain myself any longer. The warm tears kept flowing and flowing out of my eyes and I blamed God himself for taking away my only happiness and the only light in my life. Dan was the only one who ever understood all of my pain and knew the reason why.

"Please, Blair; don't cry! You are making this extremely hard for me. I have to go - it's my duty, and you know I've always considered turning myself into the military at some point."

"Yes, but I'd never thought that you'd leave me behind like this! I can't do this without you, Dan. I need you too much to do this on my own!"

My voice was becoming more and more hysterical and I knew that it wasn't adorable nor did I change his mind by telling him all nonsense and begging him to stay, but I knew that he didn't wanted to leave me alone to myself. He knew that I had no one else beside him and Serena, but that he was the one I needed the most.

"Take good care of yourself, Blair. And please; take good care of Serena as well! You know I love her, and I want her to be happy while I'm gone." He looked over at me and he captured my head between his hands. "And I love you. You two are the things I care most about in this world and nothing is going to change that fact. Nothing else really matters."

He got up from where we were sitting and went back inside.

When I went back as well about an hour later, my mother told me he'd already retired for the night, and the next morning when I woke up, I was told he had left. I found Serena sleeping next to me as she always did when she was here. She must had sneaked in last night to say goodbye to Dan.

I knew that he did it to save the both of us the pains of a goodbye. I may never forgive him for that, but that doesn't mean I didn't understand why he did it. Serena was crying in her sleep and I lay my arm around her body and soothed her by running my hand over her hair. When she woke up it was all wet like she'd taken a bath in my tears. She simply hold me, and she promised me that she would always be there for me - we were sisters, and I had to admit that I cared nearly as much about her as I did about Dan. She was without a doubt my best friend. And my only friend, for that matter, but it didn't change the fact.

I knew what I had to do. I wasn't going to stay around and become miserable and alone, even though I still had my best friend. She had tons of other friends. I _was _going to tell Serena about it as soon as she woke up, but I didn't have time for that and it didn't make a difference anyways. She was only going to change my mind about it, and I was all set.

There was no time to waste!

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**TBC**


	2. Arriving In London

**AN: I know it's been a week since the first chapter, but it has not been possible for me to continue until now :)**

**I apologize now if there's any problems with my grammar - english is not my mother tongue. Don't forget to leave a review! **

** -Charlie xoxo**

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I took the first train to London.

I was aware that maybe I hadn't thought everything through. Maybe I was being reckless, but if being reckless was going to bring me close to Dan, I was prepared to do what ever it took. Maybe it wasn't fair to my parents, or to Serena, but the thought of not having him near me was terrifying and I would rather hurt everyone else than being miserable. That was how selfish I was, or maybe it was because I knew their lives would continue, with or without me in it.

The train was overfull and I couldn't help feeling a little claustrophobic. I sat beside a little boy who couldn't have been more than six years old. Whenever I looked out of the crook of my eye I saw him staring at me. I turned my head toward his and I smiled at him. He gave me a big smile and then looked the other way. I followed his gaze and my eyes locked with a pair of dark amber ones.

He looked back at me. I don't know how long we stared at each other, but it felt like hours, although I knew it couldn't have been more than a few seconds. He smiled at me and I felt myself blush, but returned the smile with a shy one. He turned his attention back to young man next to him. I turned my gaze as well and looked out of the windows, but I couldn't help but look in his direction every now and then, and every time I would find him looking at me, too. Something felt weird in my stomach as I looked into those amber eyes.

He was wearing a military uniform, I noticed, and so was his mate beside him. Big suitcases was standing behind them and there was no doubt they were of higher standards in the army. It reminded me that what they probably called home was where I was going to spend the next time of my life.

The train came nearer and nearer the next station, and I saw that the young man and his companion was getting ready to get off the train. I wondered why they weren't going to London. The train finally stopped, but as they were about to leave, he turned around and looked at me with an odd expression, like there was something he couldn't figure out. He then did something that set me off: he gave me a smirk, took of his hat and brought it to his chest and then bowed a little in a formal gesture. The strange feeling worsened in the pit of my stomach.

I tried to find him outside and when I did, I found him searching for me, too, and then our eyes finally met. I waved back at him and then the train began to move forward again. Our eyes locked for another short moment, and then he was out of sight. If I'd felt empty before, it was nothing compared to the feeling that streamed through me in that moment. Empty. Cold. Odd sadness. Like something important had just been ripped out of my life. Luckily, years of absent parents and expectations that they hadn't been capable of accomplish had given me the ability to leave out all sort of pain. Or at least the majority.

I finally arrived in London twenty minutes later, and I was relieved to finally stand on my two feet again. It made me restless to be sitting down and doing nothing, and I'd been longing to finally be in the city again. I'd been there twice with my mother and Dan while my father was on a business trip to Paris. It'd been truly amazing and I'd loved spending time with my mother and my brother alone. She always seemed more ... _Relaxed_, whenever my father wasn't around.

It felt odd standing alone on the platform. I had no idea of where I was supposed to go, so I decided to spend the night at a hotel. I remembered the one I stayed at with my mother and Dan, and I was quite certain I could find the way from King's Cross. Luckily, I hadn't brought much luggage so it was possible for me to walk.

The Savoy was quite expensive, but I'd brought my father's wallet with me. I felt guilty. It was against everything I'd ever stood for, but I had needed the money and I knew neither of my parents would ever understand the mission I'd felt the need to complete.

I felt like I kept walking, but no matter what I came nowhere. The weather was ice cold, so I pulled my coat close to my body, but it didn't quite keep the cold out. My feet hurt, taken I was wearing my high heeled shoes and I felt sore in my whole body. I knew I had to find a place to rest soon, and then I finally came by a small restaurant. My stomach told me I needed to go in there, and warmth overflowed me as I opened the door.

I was met by many looks and I looked down onto the floor, trying to avoid everyone's gazes. My hair was a mess, I was wearing a summer-coat and a small bag i my hand and there was completely silent in the restaurant. Not to mention I was _at least_ two decades younger than the youngest of the other guests.

There was a bar in the middle of the room and I quickly made my way towards it. The high barstools were utterly modern and I noticed that the restaurant was more like one of those 'liquid bars' my father had told me about. He'd said that the bar was the center of it.

"Welcome, Miss. Can I get you anything to drink?"

The man on the other side of the bar was rather handsome. I had no clue of what liquid was being served in a place like this.

"Can you suggest a choice of drink, perhaps?"

He smiled at me and signaled to me that he would be back in just a moment. He came back a minute later with a strange looking bottle with dark liquid inside of it. He then smirked at me and the gesture reminded me of the man on the train. The smirk didn't do the same to me and I simply smiled back. I felt uncomfortable and was softly wishing I hadn't entered the bar.

"Here you go, my Lady. This round's on me."

I brought the glass to my nose and wrinkled at the smell of it. It smelled strong and odd and it reminded me of my father. It was the way he always smelled when he'd been out playing cards with his employees.

The liquid burned it's way down my throat and I would've spitted it out if I'd only been alone and not in public with a man who kept giving me strange looks. I nodded my head in a 'thank you' and held my hands up to stop him from giving me a refill.

"What is this? I feel like I've just swallowed a cup of fire!"

He laughed softly and passed me the bottle.

"It's scotch. The finest you can find. Unfortunately, it's not legal so I'm gonna have to make you promise me not to tell anyone. Do you?"

I gave him a big smile and laughed as well. It felt good. Although it hadn't been that long since Dan and I had laughed about something his friend had told him, it still felt like it'd been ages since I'd laughed of someone besides Dan had said. It felt good and I was going to enjoy this night since I knew it would probably have been my last night as a woman for a long, long time...

So, my plan of escaping the bar turned out as a complete failure. I didn't manage, nor did I want to, stop the smirking handsome man in giving me a good time for once.

"How old are you? You don't look nearly as old as the costumers I normally serve this illegal drink to, and normally they've tried the burning taste _many_ times before!"

"I'm 17."

"Where are you from? I can tell you're not from London by the bag in your hand."

"Let's just say I'm not from here, shall we?"

I didn't want to tell this complete stranger my whole life story. It didn't feel right and Dan had always taught me about looking out for strangers. The man smiled at me and nodded his head in understanding. He then brought his hand to me.

"I'm William. William Burns. Pleasure to meet you, Miss ?"

"Blair Waldorf. Pleasure to meet you too, William."

We talked on for an hour. Mostly about his life. I wasn't much for talking about myself, and I felt that he sensed and accepted the fact. As the time went by he kneeled to get something in the bar, and then I noticed a letter in his pocket. I kept staring at it and an as he came face to face with me again, he followed my gaze and brought the letter out of his pocket.

"Yes, I'm supposed to sign in for the army as well. Not really my thing I assure you. Why do you keep staring at it?"

I swallowed and tried to come up with a reason, but I was clueless and decided to tell him the truth. Or, at least something close to it.

"I have a friend who really wants to go to the army, but unfortunately sh... _He's_ not old enough yet. Excuse me if I'm being inappropriate, but here's an idea: What if you gave me the letter, and then you'd be able to pass on your duty?"

I was pressing my luck - I was aware of that - but a tiny voice in my head kept telling me that it would all end up well if only I kept on trying.

"Well, that really _is_ insane, but I've always had this thing for crazy things. But what if he gets caught?"

"No one knows who the letters belongs to, and I honestly don't think they care as long as _someone_ signs themselves in in the name of William Burns."

William nodded and then filled a glass for himself. He swallowed all the liquid at once and nodded again. His eyes scanned the room and then his eyes found mine again.

"You're right. Here, you can give it to your friend, but don't blame me if he's going to get hurt."

He handed over the letter to me and i gratefully laid it down in my bag. I'd already found my way in. I had been afraid that maybe it wouldn't be possible for me, but somehow I knew this was what I was destined to do. God himself had planned this for me and there was no way I was going to turn down his will.

"Thank you, William. I am truly grateful. I'm sorry, but I really have to leave before it gets do dark outside. I have no room yet."

"You can sleep here. We have rooms upstairs."

I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay. The idea of going back to The Savoy excited me. I guessed it was the thrill of refresh memories from a happy time in my childhood, but at the same time I was so exhausted I knew I didn't really have a choice.

"Okay. Thank you."

He brought my luggage up the stairs, and when he left the room I fell asleep immediately on the soft bed.

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**AAN: What did you guys think? Please tell me! :)**

**TBC...**


	3. Such A Powerful Name

I woke up early in the morning with the sun streaming in from the window. At first, I was confused and had no idea what room I'd just woken up in, but then I remembered I was in London - all by myself - and what my mission of the day was.

To turn myself in and join the forces.

I was never one to get nervous. It was weird, considered how much I'd been terrified, scared and helpless before, but the thought of what I was about to put myself into wasn't _so_ charming in the morning light. But I knew there was no turning back now - I was going to do it! It was the only way ...

I turned my bag upside down and threw all of Dan's forgotten clothes on the bed next to me. It was fortunate that he wasn't that much bigger than me, just except his pants which were way too long for my female legs. I cut some of the material off and then sewed it back together so they'd fit me better. I put them on, took the most masculin women-shoes I'd been able to find in my closet and then went to the bathroom with a scissor in my right hand.

So, this was it. I gathered all my hair in my left hand and before I got the chance to think it through a second time, I brought the scissor up to the back of my head and cut it off in one motion. Afterwards, I tried to make it a hairstyle, a bit like my father's, and it worked. I now had some of my hair sleeked down the one side of my head and the other side's hair close to my head. I managed to get rid off the curls with help from some water.

Even though I looked terrible, I couldn't help but think that this - me, disguised a man and using the name William Burns - could actually work. I even looked like some of the young men Dan called his "friends" and who sometimes ate dinner with us. Often, it was because they had no parents and Dan was too sympathetic to leave them behind in the cold without any food. My mother didn't always approve of this generousness, but my father was almost as goodhearted as Dan when it came to parentless children. In other situations, I would honestly have claimed that my _mother_ was the most empathetic of them, even though she preferred one child over the other.

I don't know how long I stood and looked at myself in the mirror. It could've been seconds, it could've been hours, but all I know is that it took all of my willpower to gather my belongings and put them all back in my luggage, found the staircase and then, before anyone could see me, ran out the entrance door and out into the nearly woken capital of England.

It shocked me the first time someone nodded at me as we passed by each other. My mouth was open wide, but then I remembered that people saw me as a man, not some helpless young woman, anymore. To be honest, I hated it. I hated the difference between man and woman. I hated how I was _not_ allowed to attend the university even though I was much brighter than my own brother in school - not to boast - and I could easily have had an higher education than many of my parents' male friends and their sons.

Personally, the woman I looked up to the most was Emmeline Pankhurst. She'd always been a tabu in our home since my father was and always would be a conservative man, but Serena had told me everything about her. What was most admirable was that even though she had been in prison for nine months, and her mother as well, she'd never stopped fighting for what she believed in. I knew that the violence the Suffragettes were doing had stopped as the war had begun, but I knew they would never stop believing in the course.

Of course, I thought it was wrong to sabotage the city. It meant it wasn't safe to be outside, but they were _heard _and _listened_ to by the inhabitants. No one'd ever been before.

I sat down on a bench and took the letter out of my inner pocket. The address was typed on it and I knew I had to ask someone to guide me, so I decided to ask the first person who would pass by me on their way and I quickly stood up when a beautiful young woman with a child in hand came towards me.

"Excuse me, Miss. May I ask them a question?"

I did my best to sound as a gentleman, but I only sounded stupid, even to my own ears. Strangely, the young woman gave me a smile I was sure could have melted every man alive. She chuckled softly.

"Yes, they may, Sir. I'll do my best to answer."

"Are they from this area? I was just striking by and suddenly I've lost my way. Could they perhaps tell me how I found this address?"

I gave her the letter and turned my gaze downwards on the child on her side. It was obvious that it wasn't her child. The woman had dark hair and and shiny grey eyes, but the boy child was as light as Serena. He had big blue eyes and thick blond hair. He was beautiful, no doubt, and there was something oddly familiar about him.

Frankly, I had no idea about this familiarity so I tried to drop the recognition, but wasn't quite able to. Suddenly, I was aware that the woman tried to make contact with me and I let my gaze move upwards again.

"Our way is the same as theirs. Perhaps we could accompany them on their way?"

This formal matter sounded odd to me, but I could tell that the girl enjoyed it. Maybe she wasn't used to men talking properly and formally to her because she was a maid? Instead of answering I bowed and signaled for her to lead the way.

At first, we walked in silence. It wasn't awkward, though, it was only strange to walk beside someone and not speak a word. After a little while we suddenly began a conversation and I found out her name was Vanessa Abrams. She was american, from New York, but her family had immigrated to London when she was 16 years old.

She told me how much she missed the city, especially Manhattan, even though she claimed she was from the poorer area, Brooklyn. As she described the huge city and what it was becoming, I could feel some kind of excitement in the pit of my stomach. I had an urge to get on the first faery and disappear from England.

"Tell me, my lady. Why did your family leave New York?"

I tried to turn the tone into a little more friendly one, and luckily she seemed happy about it as well.

"We were very poor. My sister was engaged to this rich man, but he left her at the altar for some _doll_ he had met and fell in love with. She was heartbroken, and my parents broken, too, even though it were their wallets instead. But no money - no life. That's what I've been raised to think. Anyways, they decided to spend all their money on four tickets and sail across the ocean. So we ended in London."

She paused, and I could see sadness in her beautiful grey orbs. Vanessa kept looking down on her feet and I could tell she tried to decide whether to continue the story. Instead, though, she shook her head and made eye contact with me.

"I'm deeply sorry, sir. I did not intend to bore you with my ordinary life story. I apologize."

This was one of the things I hated the most: The all time politeness and expectations of women's behavior. We were expected to be looked at - not to be listened to - and there was no space for discussion.

"You do no such thing, Ms. Abrams. I find your story extremely interesting. Please, do continue. I, myself, can tell you a story and it's not going anywhere across the English boarder line. "

She nodded her head shortly and gave me a little smile. I was extremely happy that my disguise was obviously a success and Vanessa seemed to believe I _was_ a man. At least, I hoped that was why she kept blinking in such a speed.

"Very well, then. My father told my mother, my sister and I that there were jobs for everyone in London. In New York there are many immigrants, especially from the southern states and from eastern Europe, so he wanted to try his luck over here. Soon, both my father and my sister had a job and we could live an ordinary life in the middle class."

The sadness was there, it was obvious. This story was _not_ going to end well. How else did she become a maid and not married to a wealthy man? She was probably one of the most beautiful people I'd ever seen. The only woman I could think of who were more beautiful was Serena.

"My father was from Hungary and one evening he came by a group of men who loathed everybody from the eastern Europe. They claimed he 'stole' their jobs. They beat him so badly he ended up dying of internal bleedings. Since then, I've been working for the big cannon, William Van der Bilt's youngest grandchild, Nathaniel Archibald and his wife, Jenny. This is their only heir."

She signaled down to the beautiful child beside her and he gave her a big smile. It was very obvious to me that the child cared for Vanessa and vice versa. I figured he was one of the rich heirs who's parents had no time for them and instead hired an Au Pair.

"Mr. Archibald is in the army. Unfortunately, Mrs. Archibald has some issues right now and therefore are Charles and I out on a little walk around the city. Isn't that right, Charles?"

"Oh, yes! Tell me, Sir: don't you think my name sounds powerful? That's what uncle Chuck always tells me. His real name is Charles. Charles _Bass_. Father has always told me I got my name from him since Chuck is his best mate. If I could choose myself, I would want to have the name Bass, too."

"It is indeed a powerful name, son."

I smiled at him and then looked forward again. We'd been walking for a long time and I figured we would have to be there soon. We turned yet another corner as I felt we'd done a hundred of times already.

Finally, we reached a great building with the Britannia flag waving outside. Young men were standing with the elder generations in small groups outside and were talking politely like the gentlemen they obviously were.

"This is it, Mr. Burns. You will have to make it on your own from here."

I told her thank you and then made my way up the great staircase and inside of the huge mahogany door.

The windows of the house were at least six meters high and they didn't even go from the floor to the ceiling. There were tables in the middle and long lines with men waiting for it to be their turn. Every one of them were standing with a white piece of paper in their hand and it was obvious they were excited to protect their country. Non of them seemed to give their abandoned a second thought. I suddenly wondered if Dan had had that look on his face, too. The thought seemed unbearable.

I made my way behind a tall blond guy, and I had no idea if I'd been standing in the line for minutes or hours. Suddenly it was my turn and I lay my letter on the desk.

"Name?"

The man barely looked at me and without any hesitation in my voice I spoke:

"Burns. William Burns."

He took my letter into his hands and then finally looked up at me.

"Welcome to the army, young man."

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**AN: So, what did you think? Like it - don't like it?**

** -Charlie xoxo**

**TBC**


	4. Amber Eyes

**I'm sorry for the late update. I've been very busy. This chapter is quite short, but it's only because it's the beginning of the whole "thing"! I hope you guys like it anyway. **

**Again, I apologize for all grammar issues etc. English isn't my mother tongue :)**

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"If you'll all follow me, please."

My whole body was shaking and I had no idea about what I was doing. I kept repeating this sentence to myself and my legs: _Left, right. Left, right. _It was as if I was walking on matches and every step I took was dangerous and could've set the place on fire. Luckily, I didn't. My disguise, and my luck, kept on holding.

The colonel walked with high speed towards the platform on King's Cross Station without bothering to gather and check if all the new recruits were coming along. We were a group of twenty and it was difficult to keep up with the colonel.

It was crowded and no matter where I looked, I saw women with tears in their eyes, children who was climbing their fathers or older brothers and holding on to them for dear life. Older people who was taking, maybe the last, look at their son and telling them how proud they were, even though they for sure were hoping their son would change his mind and run away from the station without a second thought.

No one did. Every man held his place and reassured his loved ones that everything would be okay and that it was his duty to serve his country in war. At the sight of so much love, I suddenly felt very much alone. More alone than I'd felt before. I was grateful that my father and mother would be there to say goodbye to Dan. I was supposed to say goodbye as well, but the circumstances made that task quite difficult. I had to bite in the sour apple and take this as the man everyone thought I was saw me disguised as.

"If you will all get your luggage and your self on the train, we're off in 5 minutes! Say goodbye and hurry up! When you arrive, all of you will be driven to your new 'home'. It's important that you find vehicle number 7!"

Without bothering looking around anymore, I climbed the two steps and found a seat in one of the cabins. There weren't any empty ones back, so I had to share one with two other men who'd already made themselves comfortable.

Only one of the strangers looked up at me as I opened the cabin door. He had light hair which was tucked back perfectly and he had narrow blue eyes. His cheekbones were clearly obvious on his skinny face. He couldn't be much older than 19. His companion, who was obviously older than him, was doing his best to ignore me. He had thick dark hair and grey eyes and a beautiful jawline.

The youngest still looked at me, and when I sat down, he offered me his right hand.

"Damien Dalgaard. And you are?"

"William Burns. Pleasure to meet you."

He smirked at me and slowly claimed his own hand again. He ran his hand through his hair and his eyes stayed on my face.

"Where are you from? Your accent sounds northern."

I nodded slowly and willed myself to return his gaze with as much nonchalance as I could. Something didn't feel right about him, but I couldn't lay a finger on what it was. Lost in thought, I forgot he'd asked me a question and I quickly got out of my blur.

"I grew up in Gateshead. Moved to Leeds when I was 12."

"I'm from Manchester. And this is Carter Baizen, by the way. He's not really into ... _People._"

The said Carter Baizen looked up at me with narrowed eyes and quickly turned his gaze out of the window again. After a minute or two, he took his hat from the seat next to him. He covered his face with it and I couldn't tell if he was asleep or simply ignoring his fellow travel mates.

We sat in silence for the rest of the travel. I looked out of the window and tried to count the trees we were passing by, but it was impossible. Lakes, rivers and forests disappeared before my eyes. It was calming to look out and know that even though everything was moving so fast, my body was still as a stone. I appreciated every minute in the train because I knew it was possible it would be my last peaceful minutes in a very long time ...

When we finally arrived, it would've been an understatement to say it was chaotic. I had a bag in each of my hands and I was trying to find vehicle number 7. After I'd been looking for five minutes, I got inside and the big truck started moving slowly.

We were ten in the car. Among my fellow soldiers were the two I'd been traveling with on the train.

The vehicle felt like sitting in a huge police car. Not that I knew how that felt, but I'd seen some people get arrested through the past few years. Every single one of them were driven away in a beautiful car which was obviously newly polished.

The sound, the vehicle was making, was loud and I tried to keep it out of my head. We moved slowly, and finally, after two hours of driving, we had reached our final destination.

There were six red houses. Four small ones and one big. We were all guided towards the biggest one and the temperature inside was like walking into heaven. The weather outside had become very cold, even for October, and I was scared my toes would soon fall off. Apparently, there was only one room in the house. Five tables were placed in the corner of the room and in the opposite side, a kitchen had been made as if it was only there temporarily.

"If you will please put your luggage in the right corner and then take a seat. Then we have some informations to all of you."

It was the same colonel as on King's Cross. I took the chair closest to the door. Somehow, it made me comfortable to know I was the first one to escape if anything happened in here. The thought was ridiculous. Like I would even stand a chance to escape a man like him. My strength may have been a fourth part of his - or less!

The young man from the train, Damien Dalgaard, took a seat across from mine. The other man, Carter Baizen, sat down beside him. He looked as blue as he had on the train, but then he looked at me. No, it wasn't a look. It was more like a tired stare. There wasn't a single spark to notice in his grey eyes. It was as if he was empty to his very core.

"You will be placed into four groups. Five in three of them and seven in one. You will be sleeping in the same shelter, completing tasks together and eat all of your meals together. You will stand by each other as a team, and if there is as much as _one_ complication, you will all be sent away to somewhere you really don't want to be. Am I clear?"

"_Yes, sir!_"

It was a unit answer. I wondered where the last two persons were, but the thought soon left my mind as the first group was sorted out.

I'd hoped that I would get into the same group as Damien. At least, then I had someone I'd already spoken to, but unfortunately he was sorted into the first group. The group of seven men.

I wasn't in the next one either. Or the third. And neither was Carter Baizen. My name wasn't called until the last group with only three men (or what ever I would call myself) and we were escorted to our small house with our luggage.

We were told that another two men would sleep with us in our shelter and we had to make room for them as well. The men handed us some clothes and then left us alone to ourselves. Although it was only about fifty meters away from the house, I felt as if we were left to ourselves. Loneliness filled me, but I tried my best to ignore it.

I lay my luggage in the shelter and tried to make it as comfortable as possible. We did not have any pillows, only a thin carpet to keep ourselves warm in the cool october night, so we all three decided to sleep with our clothes on.

We decided we might as well turn in for the night and get some sleep, but that was when two strangers came towards us with a lamp used as guideing. I saw the man's face and dark amber filled my thoughts as our gazes met ...

* * *

**What do you think? Getting interesting? Please leave a review - it _so_ gives me motivation and makes my day!**

** -Charlie xoxo**

**TBC**


	5. I've Been In Leeds

**AN: I'm so sorry it's been so long since my last update. I will try to make the waiting time shorter, but there is so much going on in my life at the time that it's quite difficult.**

**I've just had "the mood", but I wanted to publish this _so_ badly I didn't have much time to correct my grammar, so if there is any big mistakes - I apologize! Again, english is not my mother tongue :)**

**I hope you like it - we are getting further and further into the story!**

* * *

It was my first experience of being paralyzed.

Non of my muscles would move and I felt my gaze unable to move. My head was spinning and my stomach was turning, but it wasn't a bad feeling. It felt as if a bomb of butterflies had exploded inside of me at the sight of deep amber and now they were uneasy from the explosion.

When I realized someone was talking to me, I commanded myself to turn my gaze and find out who was interrupting my thoughts. It turned out to be the man beside _him _on the train, and I finally recognized him as the man next to _him_ on the train.

He had golden hair and from what it looked like in the dark, bright blue eyes and a friendly-looking face. Broad shoulders, though not as broad as _his_, and obviously muscular build.

This could not be happening! I was extremely happy to have met the mystery amber eyed man from the train again, but it broke my heart to think that he saw me as a man. If I was lucky (or maybe unlucky) he would not recognize me and bust my disguise. He would have no idea the young woman he had a moment with, or that was the way I saw it, was standing right in front of him.

"I am Nathaniel Archibald, but you will refer to me as Sergeant Archibald. This is Sergeant Charles Bass."

It was a short introduction, and quite too formal for my liking, but the name runged in my head. _Nathaniel Archibald. Charles Bass._ Why did that sound so oddly familiar?

His name was Charles. I had never been in love before, but I would have sworn it was love with first sight. Or at least it was for me! The name _Blair Bass_ sounded in my head and I blushed with by thought and felt utterly ridiculous! I didn't even know the man, yet here I was thinking about myself marrying him and giving birth to his amber eyes children.

Someone was clearing their throats next to me and when I looked up, I realized it was Sergeant Archibald. He was looking at me with a bored look and then sighed.

"I will repeat my question then: What is your name? Where are you from?"

I blushed again as it was obvious he had been talking to me while I was lost in thoughts. It was not a good first impression, and I feared I had offended him by my lack of attention.

"My name is Burns... Sir! I am from Gateshead."

The formal way of referring came a bit too late and I could tell he wasn't too pleased with me. This time, it was me who sighed and I felt so, so small. It did not help that _he_ didn't introduce himself properly or ask for my name. And even though I knew he did not recognize me I felt hurt. I wanted him to remember me. Very, very badly ...

"Recruits, we will retire for the night and so should you. We have a long day in front of us, beginning early in the morning. You all better get in bed and try to get some rest."

The wind was cold and as I noticed all of the others slept with their clothes on, I sighed a grateful sigh and retired to the corner furthest away.

* * *

I woke up as if someone had emptied a cup filled with cold water on me. I was freezing the worst I ever had and I quickly rose form the hard shelter ground.

Finally, I could see our location, but it was nothing but an empty field with a forest in the background. No singing birds, no smell of fresh baked bread and no sweet sound of Dan's comforting voice.

God, I missed him! He was the reason I had survived this long. Dan was the one who had found me by the toilet, covered in vomit and so broken and emptied for energy he had borne me on his shoulders all the way to the local doctor.

The doctor had told me I was sick. That my mind wasn't healthy. At the age of 12 he told my parents to pay for a hospitalization at a mental institution in Leeds. It was against my will and Dan begged my parents not to send me away, told them it would only worsen my state.

It was the first time I realized my parents loved me. I've never blamed them for what they did, but I blamed the doctor for the things I experienced. Things I wouldn't even think about when I was alone. I could not allow them to enter my mind - they would have broken me again - had made me empty my stomach again. It was the easy way for the doctor to explain my actions. I couldn't say anything myself and he declared me mentally ill. That I had a psychopathic mind.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I sad in the wet grass and I emptied my mind, a thing I had managed to learn over the last few years. I had the capability to deny and forget.

I started thinking about Dan again, but as I thought about Goethe, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw Sergeant Archibald coming towards me. It was stupid - so, so stupid - to hope it may had been him. I slapped myself mentally.

"Burns. Why aren't you sleeping? I told you we have a long day in front of us. I don't want any man getting us behind in our timetable."

"I know. I could not sleep any longer. Thoughts about family and home."

Once again I slapped myself - very hard! - mentally for telling our Sergeant of my reasons of being awake so early in the morning. But to my surprise he smiled softly and nodded his head as in agreement.

"My reason as well. I have a son back home, you know. His name is Charles as well. He is a great son - obsessed with his uncle and going on and on about how he will be in the military just as Chuck is. Nothing about how much he looks up to his father."

The jealousy in his voice was obviously fake, but as I was about to answer him I remembered why the name had sounded so familiar.

_William Van der Bilt's youngest grandchild, Nathaniel Archibald. _

_Their only heir. _

_Charles. _

_Mr. Archibald is in the army. _

_Don't you think my name sounds powerful? That's what uncle Chuck always tells me. His real name is Charles. Charles _Bass_. Father has always told me I got my name from__ since Chuck is his best mate. _

I was tired. Tired of destiny. How did everything turn up this way? How could the man on the train be Charles Bass, the man with the powerful name and the best mate of Mr. Archibald, also known as Nathaniel Archibald? It was all so, so confusing and my head was spinning crazier than ever before.

"H-how old is he?"

It was the only sentence I managed to get out. I had so many questions, but if I asked as much as one of them, Sergeant Archibald would have discovered my disguise in seconds.

"He is seven. I long to see him grow older, but my job, and my father, wants it otherwise. I'm an Van der Bilt-heir. Perhaps you know what that means ..."

I actually did. When I thought about it, I remembered my father telling about a ridiculous rich family with money no one knew where came from, all everyone knew was they they kept getting more and more. And that the money had bought not so few manors around in Britain.

"Tell me, Burns. Do you have any children?"

"I am only 18 years old. I don't even have a fiancé yet."

The expression on his face was strange, it somehow reminded me of Dan, but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. Perhaps it was my simply my intuition which was playing games with me, but for a moment his eyes showed sympathy - brotherly love.

"18 years, you say? You are quite young. Why are you here? I was told only men older than 20 was called in."

I nodded and tried to choose my words with care.

"My brother is 21. I knew I would get bored at home, so I decided I might as well serve my country as work in my father's company."

"I find something else about you, but I can't quite figure out what it is. I want to help you in here, Burns. I don't know why, but I feel it is my responsibility not to get you killed. Try your best to do as I say, will you please?"

I was shocked by his words, but I nodded before he thought of me being stupid and with a smile he returned to our shelter.

* * *

It was a long journey with the train.

Wind was coming in through holes in the wall and we were all sitting with a thin carpet around our freezing bodies. I had brought one of Dan's favorite books, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. I knew I would miss reading, so I'd brought a book men would read. Normally I read Jane Austin, but it was better than nothing to read at all.

I was so captured in the book that I didn't notice Nathaniel sitting down beside me. It was first when I heard the _bump_ I looked up and saw his bright blue eyes.

The color reminded me of Serena. I hadn't forgot her, but still I felt guilty for leaving her without as much as a goodbye. I owed it to her. She was all alone now when Dan wasn't with her, and although she had lots of friends, I knew she missed him nearly as much as I did.

"What are you reading?"

I closed the book. There was no point in keeping it open anymore.

"Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. It's my favorite."

He nodded and took a long look at the brown leather book.

"What is it about?"

"To make it a short explanation, then it's about two boys in St. Petersburg. A poor boy named Huckleberry Finn and a middle-class boy named Tom Sawyer."

He held his hand out and I read it as a signal to hand over the book. He turned it around in his large hands and it looked like he was trying to figure out the whole book just by looking at it.

"I've never really read. School and learning had never really meant much to me. At least not learning about how to read and write. I know how to, though. It had just never got my interest. I'm much more of a experience wanting man."

His eyes shone and I laughed whilst I was trying to deepen my voice so it wouldn't be my normal girly laugh.

"I've had great experience from books, actually. You can learn so much, even from the real life, by reading a book of a man or a woman who had experienced the exact same thing as you have."

"Yes, but it wouldn't be quite the same. Books are for women and weak minds."

The voice hypnotized me. The words awoke anger in the pit of my stomach, but as I saw who the deep voice belonged to it didn't matter to me anymore. He could say whatever he wanted, just as long as he kept talking.

"Chuck. There's no need for that now."

Nathaniel tried to defend me. Obviously, he knew how Chuck reacted at things like that, but it still surprised me he spoke against his best mate.

Chuck simply smirked, but left it there. He then turned on his heel and I sent him a longing look ...

* * *

Everything was _so_ dark! I couldn't even see my own hands in front of me, but I could feel the presence of a man beside me.

We were on our first task and I had been teamed up with a young man a couple of years older than me called Flick. I asked for his real name, but he told me it wasn't a good idea for me to know. I found it strange, but I knew better than to sneak in other people's business.

Our Sergeants had told us to go out into the forest, find our own shelter and sleep in a shelter we'd built ourselves. Then we were to return to our camp as dawn came and the sun showed it's first light in the horizon.

"Burns, Burns! There is a place under a tree over here! I think it will be a fine place to retire for the night."

I came nearer him and saw the place he was talking about. He had a lamp in his hand and the light calmed me. We threw all of our packing on the ground, arranged our shelter and fell asleep quickly, completely drained from hours of walking.

Again, I woke up much before dawn. I walked a little while away from our shelter and finally found what I was looking for: a small lake. It had been a while since I'd last had a bath and even though it was freezing, I couldn't resist the water.

When I was done, I hurried back to our shelter and found Flick still fast asleep. I could tell from the light it was about dawn and I decided to wake him up. At first he seemed confused, but as he awoke further he proposed we packed our belongings and returned back to the camp.

We'd been walking for what seemed like hours. I spotted a waterhole on our left side and Flick told me he wanted to refill his water bottle. I agreed and we walked down towards the hole, but suddenly the ground underneath me felt strange and I couldn't move out of place. I looked down and realized I was stuck in the mud. My boot had been captured and I didn't have enough power to get free.

I could see Flick continue on his want of water further into the forest and I knew I needed his help to get free. I sank deeper and deeper down and I was about to panic.

"Flick, help!"

* * *

**Is it OK? I hope you liked it! Please write me a review - seriously, it's the best thing I can get! I'm all "high" for the rest of the say if there are good responses on my story :)**

** -Charlie xoxo**


	6. A Piece Of Work

**I'm sorry it's been so long since my last update, but I'm going through a tough time right now, but I'm trying to get my act together and write down all my ideas.**

**This is not the best chapter, but I have a surprise: Chuck's POV!**

**Please R&R - I'm desperate to hear what you think of this :)**

* * *

"_Flick, help!"_

I try with all of my power to loosen the grip the mud have on my feed, but my hard trying is worthless. I am not strong enough.

Finally, Flick turns around and see me standing helpless with mud up to my ankles. To my surprise, he begins laughing.

"Burns, in the time I've known you, I've never doubted you are smart, but I'm seriously reconsidering my high thoughts about you! You should really learn to watch where you are putting your feet!"

He keeps laughing, and I can feel my cheeks burn. I _am_ stupid. Why didn't the thought that a waterhole probably is like a sump cross my mind? It is embarrassing.

"Will you please stop laughing and help me out of this?"

Only another few chuckles escapes him before he finally walks back towards me, watchs his steps very carefully and slowly tries to pull me out of the mess I've put myself into. Even though he is strong he can't pull me out, and before either one of us can react, Flick falls flat on his stomach, his head first, right down onto the mud.

I don't remember ever laughing that hard. His expression as he lifts himself up from the disgusting slimy ground and looks at me was worth being stuck in it myself. He looks angry and annoyed at first, but in the end he can't help but give in and joins my laughter.

It takes us about an hour to get me free, probably because we are laughing very hard and probably also because I fell down to the ground as well. Luckily, I fell on my backside, so my face is still clean, except for a few leaves in my short hair.

When we finally reach our camp, all our fellow soldiers begins laughing, only with the exception of Sergeant Bass. He is giving us the evil eye, and I don't understand why. Even Sergeant Archibald is laughing at our muddy uniforms and bodies! Why is the man being this dark and narcissistic? It's bothering me, and it really shouldn't.

I don't know why, but it saddens me that the man from the train isn't who I'd believed he was. I can't help but think how he would react if he knew who I truly am ...

"Chuck, lighten up! We need to hear how those two hollow people ended up looking like _that_!"

Nathaniel is pointing his hand out as us and a chuckle escapes his lips as he speaks the words. Both Flick and I are laughing as well and we begin telling the story about our little accident in the forest earlier.

When we finish talking, the first to speak is Charles Bass.

"You should've known better than to step your feet into a waterhole! Seriously, Nathaniel; is this what we'll be working with?"

He throw his hands in the air dramatically, storms pass us and makes his way into his personal shelter. And, although I know it really shouldn't bother me, his words still sting. Does he really think of me as being helpless? Will he rather _not_ work with our troupe? Fine! I don't even care anymore! Obviously, the man on the train does not exist, or at least not the man I thought he was!

But if I really don't care at all, then why does it still hurt? It's not fair! I am new to feelings for another person besides Dan, Serena and my parents, and the thoughts of his dislike of me makes me sick to my stomach - a feeling I know I have to do my best to ignore.

I look at Nathaniel and he is giving me a look I know means 'I'm sorry', but I don't respond to it. Instead, I take my backpack and angrily make my way to our shelter.

* * *

The time is probably about two in the morning when I sneak out of my sleeping bag and silently walks down to a little pond I noticed when we returned from our little task in the forest.

The peace around the pond makes me relax and I can finally let my tears run free without worrying about someone hearing me.

I miss Dan so much I physically hurt. My stomach feels oddly hard and and empty, but I then remember I haven't eaten anything this evening. I try my best to stop the tears from rolling down my red cheeks - it really isn't the time for me to be weak - but I don't succeed. I've never been one to be strong in situations I am not able to control.

A dark thought crosses my mind and before I have the chance to think twice, I've quickly made my way up to our tent with foot. I take as much as possible without it getting noticed in the morning and then run back to the pond. I eat all the foot faster than I'd thought possible and to my better surprise, I don't even have to make an effort for it to come back up again.

It's not that I like making myself sick, but it makes me feel like I'm in control. The food normally makes me sick, but when Dan found out, he did his best to help me keep it in my stomach. I know he blames himself for our parents sending us away, and I've honestly tried my best to forgive him, but still a voice inside my head tells me not to let it go.

I still love him the same, though, and I know that if the situation had been opposite I probably would've told our father as well. But the way our mother looks at me; it hasn't been the same since ...

I clean my mouth in the small pound and I'm shocked when I hear someone's footsteps behind me.

He looks tired, like he hadn't slept at all, and his expression is emotionless. He simply stands there, not giving any hints of what is going through his mind until he suddenly meets my gaze.

"Burns."

"Sergeant Bass."

My voice is dry, due to the pain in my throat. The doctors have told me that my tube has suffered under my countless times of emptying my stomach, but I'm quite certain it has nothing to do with it. It's dry for my loss of words.

"If you're feeling sick, Burns, I recommend you retire to your shelter. I don't want any of you to slow us down in the morning."

He gives me a look of disgust and I feel utterly self-conscious. My hand makes it's way to my mouth as to clean it, but as I look at the back of it, there is nothing to see in the dim light from the moon. It's a nervous habit, I know. It's something I always do when I am in a uncomfortable situation.

"What is your problem, Sergeant Bass? What have I ever done to disrespect you?"

My hand makes it's way back to my mouth again, but this time it's to stop the words from coming out of my mouth. Unfortunately, they are out before I'm able to react and able to save my outburst. His expression is still blank and I am certain he will turn on his heel without answering my question, thinking I am simply a waste of time.

"My problem is, _soldier_, that _non_ _of you_ are worth the title. Soldier should be a title one should make themselves worthy of - not a title able to all men being called in by the government! Non of you are worth Nathaniels time, nor are you worth mine. You're all weak, slow and not even close to being ready for the mission we have in front of us."

A big lump suddenly sets in my throat and I have to bite my tongue to stop myself form arguing with him. I know it is pointless. Instead of giving an answer, I get to my feet and practically run pass him.

I know he thinks I am being ridiculous and that I am a piece of work, but I don't really care. My temper is running away from me and to stop myself from behaving like a child in front of a man my feelings against is still unclear. I find it best to get as far away from him as possible.

I lay my head on the hard floor of our shelter and soon enough my nightmares of evil eyes, scalpels and strong light fills my head...

* * *

**Sergeant Charles Bass' POV**

What a piece of work!

Why am Nathaniel and I even wasting our time on these men? They are nothing but big children with a hung to impress their fathers!

If I'd only been wise enough to talk Nathaniel out of his idea of being a Sergeant and train young soldiers to be ready to anticipate in the war. Then we wouldn't be in this situation now. But, unfortunately, the only person I can't get myself to manipulate with is my best mate. He's been there for me through everything. At least, through everything I've been willing to share with him.

He doesn't know about _her_. If I tell him, it means I will have to face the fact that I'm never going to see her again, and the thought is unbearable.

Nathaniel will tell me to forget about her. I can already hear him say: "You have to let her go and forget about her, Chuck! Don't you forget about Eva."

Eva.

We've been engaged for two months now, but it's only because my father wouldn't get off my back. He was always looking down on me, like I'm not worth of being the heir of his fortune. Nor the bearer of the Bass name.

It changed when I proposed to her. She had been claiming her love for me dozens of times, even to my father, and it had always bothered me, except for the times I got her to sneak into bed with me doing dinners and the parties my father hosts.

Everything changed. My whole life changed the moment I lay my eyes on _her_.

I'm so angry with myself. I had a internal fight for an unknown amount of time: Go talk to her, ask for her name! And then there was the sane voice in my head, which sounded oddly much like my father's voice, and it kept telling me to get off the train with Nathaniel and forget all about her.

I know I chose wrong.

There is no doubt I should've let Nathaniel get off the train himself. He could've handled his grandfather alone if I'd explained my reasons, but unfortunately, I didn't have the braveness to man up and declare my suddenly love for the beautiful woman.

Oh, so beautiful. And delicate! I've been with a countless amount of women, but never have anyone stood out the way she did. It's unexplainable, and I feel weak because I can't let go and forget about her.

It probably also explains my bad mood. They irritates me, makes me angry, and I know, deep down, it's because I'm angry with myself. I could be out in London, looking for her, instead of being stuck here with a bunch of idiots who doesn't even want to serve their country.

Nathaniel is upset with me as well. I don't understand why, but it seems that he has a soft spot for our youngest recruit, Burns. Frankly, he is the one who irritates me the most. He is weak, small and even slower than the rest of them.

I look at the pond, takes up a stone from the ground and then throws it as hard as I can into the cold water. It makes me feel a bit better. It is a good way to react, just to throw around with nearby things. So I keep on doing it. I don't know for how long, but when I look down, there is water up to my knees.

I curse under my breath, set down into the grass and let the mild wind ease my mind.

Tomorrow is another day - yet a day closer to being free from here - and I'm about to make it really hard for those _soldiers_, to make them work hard for the title they to generous have been giving...

* * *

**So, what did you think? :)**

** -Charlie xoxo**


	7. Disliking Without A Reason

**WOW, I am so, so sorry for not updating for HALF A YEAR! As an excuse, my life has been a mess, to put it simply. I hope that you guys will keep reading my story and reviewing it and in return I will continue on! **

**Honestly, "Chair" has given me close to zero inspiration. I really don't like season 4 and 5, and frankly, season 6 was too easy. But, hey, I am willing to continue and I still find their love beautiful and their history inspirational so this story has _not_ ended yet! You are not getting rid of me that easy ;-)**

**Please, I hope you haven't given up on me yet! Please leave a review and let me know what you think! This chapter is quite short, but I had to get something out here to show you I am continuing the story**

* * *

I wake up to the sound of someone yelling.

"Get up, you lazy heads! I don't want to waste my time waiting for you! Get down to the lake and wash off the dirt from your skin. You all smell like fertiliser."

_Wash off?" _Oh God, that means I have to take off my clothes! Suddenly panic rushes through my body and I have no idea of what to do. My first intuition is to stay in my sleeping bag, but, unfortunately, a rough hand starts to shake me and calls out my name.

"Burns, if you don't get up this instance, I swear you will regret it!"

It's him. Somehow, I can recognise his voice even though I have heard it so few times. Suddenly the area on my arm he touched is burning and I feel my cheeks warming up. I tell myself to stop. He is what Dan would have called a _moron_. I was never allowed to say such words but I could never stop myself from laughing whenever Dan spoke them. _Well, he really is such a thing_, I thought to myself.

I raise my head and open my eyes. His head is a _lot_ closer than I had expected and he immediately withdraws his face. The closeness does nothing good for my warmed up cheeks.

"Are you still feeling under the weather, Burns? Your cheeks are insanely red."

There is nothing I can do but nod. What else am I supposed to tell him? _No, I am the woman you had eye-contact with on a train. Now I am dressed like a man in a hopeless attempt to get close to my brother._ I can't tell him that.

I turn my head, telling myself not to look at him any more, and I see all of my fellow recruits running towards the lake. None of them have any clothes on and I feel awfully awkward and in need to turn my head away, as if they will suddenly know I am no man.

"Get down there, Burns. Now."

"Easy, Chuck. He is obviously sick and we are in no hurry. We are to leave this area in two hours so no need to rush. Take your time, Burns."

Before any further conversation or arguments are made, I quickly get to my feet and starts walking towards the lake as well. I have no idea why I had not thought of this. Maybe I had hoped there would be individually showering. How stupid! Of course there is no such thing in the field.

I stop by the edge and makes no move to take off my clothes. I can feel amber eyes burning into my bag and I know he is seething with irritation. I feel his presence before I hear it. A hand is roughly landing on my shoulder and a hard voice is talking to me.

"Burns, if you don't get your arse into that lake within ten seconds, I will personally throw you in there, clothes or no clothes. Let this be your only warning."

An idea comes to my rescue. I hold my ground, my back still turned to him and I challenge destiny. Surely, he will be angry with me, but there is no way I am taking of my clothes. I feel his hand on my shoulder again, but this time he pushes it and I fall forwards and into the water. When I finally get my head up over the surface everyone is looking at me and are laughing hysterically. A smirk is placed on sergeant Bass' face. Not the one I once saw on a train, but this one is cruel. And evilly handsome. He is not laughing along but there is no doubt he thinks he has won.

"It was not that hard, was it, Burns? The water is not _that cold_."

My body is shaking from my dreaded clothes and my teeth are clapping. I turn my head downwards so that they think I am ashamed but I am actually smirking. I found a way to avoid bathing this time, but unfortunately I know this won't work every time.

* * *

"Okay, soldiers. Today we are going to test your skills with a riffle. No, you are not going to shoot an apple off each others heads but we have a can for you to shoot after. If you turn your attention towards Sergeant Bass, then he will show you how to load and use your rifle."

All of our heads turn towards Sergeant Bass. He shows us the routine one time and expects us to know is by heart already. Obviously, I have no idea how to use any kind of weapons. I was never allowed to attend my father on huntings, like Dan was, no matter how much I begged.

It took me an enormous amount of time before I managed to get the bullets into the riffle. Flick, who was sitting beside me, kept glancing my way and it only worsened my nerves. I looked up at him and I could see him grinning at me.

"Never been with your father on huntings? Here, let me show you how to load it."

"My father was never much of a hunter. He preferred indoor activities."

Flick simply nods, takes the bullets out of his riffle and step by step shows me how to load it. After a few times of repeating I finally manage to do it. It is quite difficult, given how much stronger he is than me, but I know I have to give everything I have and now show my weakness.

"Good job, Burns and Flick. Nice to see you working together. _That_ is what we need to learn; working together."

"Nathaniel, I find it rather problematic that we have recruits who have no idea how to load a riffle. Obviously, Burns has never held a weapon in his arms before. I do not know why we even bother trying to keep up with the rest. There is no way he will make it in an actual fight."

Tears are suddenly pressing on my eyes but I refuse to let them fall. I know Sergeant Bass has taken a dislike of me, even though I find it unfair, but I don't find it necessary for him to repeatedly embarrass me in front of my fellow recruits. Given the look Sergeant Archibald is sending him, he has come to the same conclusion as I.

"Flick, please?" Sergeant Archibald says, a hint of annoyance in his voice while pointing towards the can. Flick nods his head once and raises to his feet and walks down to the can.

"How far, Sir?"

"10 steps."

Flick takes ten steps in the opposite direction of the can, turns around and raises his riffle. He points at the can for a few seconds and then pulls the tricker. A loud bang comes from the riffle and a noise is heard which indicates that Flick show down the can. Sergeant Archibald looks pleased while Sergeant Bass looks rather bored.

All gets their shots and as if to torture me, I am the last one to shoot. Out of 20 men, 14 shot down the can. The ones who did not hit were obviously from poor families. I wasn't so it was a mystery to the others when I, of course, shot beside the can. I heard a small chuckle from beside me and saw Sergeant Bass with amusement in his eyes. I did nothing but turn around and walk back toward the others.

Flick sent me an sympathetic smile and signalled to me that it was fine.

* * *

We were all told to meet at the lake. When everyone was standing in line, our two Sergeants spoke to us.

"Soldiers, men, we have been told to split you up. Seven of you will continue on with Sergeant Bass and I, while the rest of you will wait here until your new Sergeants arrive in the morning."

I look around. Somehow, I hope I will be in the group who will continue on with Sergeant Bass and Sergeant Archibald. I like the latter while a part of me desperately wants to be with the former, even though he greatly dislikes me.

"The one who will continue on with us," Sergeant Bass continues "- are Flick, Damien Dalgaard, Carter Baizen, Edward Felton, Harry Allen, Isaac Law and -"

_Please, please, please ..._

"- William Burns."

Inside I was jumping up and down in relief, but then I noticed Sergeant Bass' facial expression. He was obviously not happy about my attendance but, frankly, I could not care less.

"Gentlemen, please go and get all of your belongings. We are to leave in five minutes. We will _not_ wait for any of you!"

With that we all ran towards our tents and packed our belongings. Not that we had that many things with us. The only things I had brought was Dan's books, a picture of him I had hidden in my jacket and some clothes. It was not necessary to carry along since we had to wear our uniforms but it was Dan's and I carried it on my bag as long as possible. Other than that, I carried my sleeping bag. SInce I was the smallest, the rest of the guys took care of the tent we were to share, the lamps and the food.

We quickly made our way back to the Sergeants and stood in line in front of them.

"Great, recruits. Lets get going then."

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**So, not the best chapter but it is better than nothing, right? Please subscribe, add to your favourites and leave a comment. Or just one of those things! It means the world to me!**

**-Charlie xoxo**


	8. Love And Other Boring Things

**Hello! Look; I am already back with a new chapter! It's amazing how you are still reading my story - I am beyond happy! :-) I feel bad because I haven't thanked a BETA-reader I've had, which is Svenjen. Go check out the author's stories - they're really great! **

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* * *

The floor was hard. My bottom was hurting but I refused to complain. If I had, Sergeant Bass would probably have had my head.

Three days ago, we took off in the smaller group. Ever since then, we sat on a train. We were all tired, hungry and in need of water. There was nothing to do. Luckily, I had my books and Sergeant Archibald even asked to borrow one. After an hour or so, he got bored and gave it back. Apparently, reading was not something he enjoyed.

I was still reading Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. My longing for Dan's laugh and warmth had increased insanely and never before had I ever felt so alone. In the back of my mind, a memory of leaving Serena and my parents behind had my conscience getting to me but I refused to feel guilty. The more I thought about it, the more I became uncertain of whether my parents missed me or not.

I really missed Serena. Her warmth, which was even warmer that Dan's, if possible, her happy smile and her obvious love for my brother. He was the love of her life, I have no doubt of that. I had always been sure that it would only be a matter of time before small children with dark hair and light blue eyes would be running around the lawn in front of my parents' house, smiling and giggling, with Dan and Eric running after them. And then the war began.

In the middle of my dream, someone woke me up and chose to send my brother in war, sending me after him, reckless, lost and disguised as a man. I was not sure what I was thinking but somehow, I did not regret my decision.

A part of me was hoping that I would meet Dan. There was nothing I wouldn't do to be with him again, if only for a little while. I missed our talks. Once in a while we would go for a walk and not return for hours.

"_Dan, wait for me! Mother made me wear my dress robes for tea. They cannot get dirty!"_

_Finally, he came to a stop, turned around and looked up at me with a huge grin on his face. He was panting slightly, cheeks red from running, and his hair was a mess. His natural curls were out of control and was hanging down the side of his head. _

"_Blair, my darling sister, I promise your dress will not get dirty. Now, come on! We have no time to waist. Father told me to be back before sundown."_

_I was about to stamp my foot onto the ground but before I had the chance to act childish, Dan took my hand and dragged me with him into the forest. We kept running until we reached our spot. It was a little opening in the middle of the forest where the sun hit the grass and the trees in the most beautiful way. It was breathtaking and ever since Dan showed it to me, it had been my favourite place to be. It was quite, except for the birds singing, and we were free from the constant politeness and reprimanding from our mother. _

_Dan took of his coat and we sat down on it. We had brought our books and just as I was about to begin reading, Dan cleared his throat and I turned my head upwards._

"_Blair, there is something I want to tell you. Father and mother do not know yet, so I need you to promise me you will not speak a word of it."_

"_Of course I will not, Dan. You know you can tell me anything. And I know I can tell you anything."_

_He nodded his head and rubbed his hands. I was trying to tell whether he was nervous or uncomfortable. I could not tell, so I decided to ask him out. Dan was good to explain things but only if he could write them down. When it came to conversing, it took patience to be aware of whatever on his heart._

"_Of course I can. I know that." he started. "Blair, I am in love with Serena. I want to propose to her in a near future."_

_It hardly came as a shock, though still I felt sad. Was he going to leave me behind, alone with mother and father? I was not sure whether I could handle that or not. I might have been strong but there was only so much I could take. _

"_I-I.. I am happy for you, Dan. I really am. Of any, she is truly the best match for you. She is intelligent and sweet. Oh, and pretty as the ocean. What is not to love?"_

_My voice came to a higher pitch in the end of my sentence. No matter how hard I tried, I could not convince myself that Dan would not notice. He knew me better than anyone and he was probably looking for falseness in my voice._

"_You are not telling me the truth. Why are you telling me of your excitement for me if in truth, you are not?"_

_I lowered my head. Guilt overwhelmed me and I tried to turn my head away from him but he took my chin between his thumb and pointing finger and looked into my eyes. A tear escaped my eye and he dried it off with his thumb._

"_Blair, tell me what is troubling you. It obviously have something to do with my confession of love for Serena. Sister, what have made you this sad?"_

"_Selfish things, Dan. It is embarrassing to speak out loud. Truly, I am very happy for you. You must not doubt that. Your love for Serena increases my happiness, I assure you of that."_

_He took my hands in his and squeezed them. I claimed bravery and looked into his eyes. They had the exact same colour as mine. Dark brown. The only colour difference between us was our hair. Dan's hair was close to black while mine was chestnut brown. _

"_I do not want you to leave and forget about me. You are all I have. It is very selfish of me and I am sorry for my reaction. You deserve nothing less than Serena, Dan."_

"_Do not be silly, Blair. I hope you know that I would never abandon you. The same way I hope you will never abandon me. You are my favourite sister, Blair."_

"_I am your _only_ sister, Dan. I am the only competitor."_

_He grinned at my answer._

"_That does not automatically mean that you are my favourite, you know. You do not choose family but I am probably the worlds' luckiest brother. I do not say it often but I love you, Blair. No matter what happens, you will always have a special place in my heart. A place no woman will ever replace. I will always look out for you."_

_I smiled at him. Even though I deep down knew that he would never abandon me, it still took away some of the sadness to hear him say it out loud. And to hear that he loved me. _

"_I love you too, my dear brother. Now, if you do not mind but I am hopelessly intrigued by that book you told me about, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn."_

I was so lost in thought that I did not notice I had fallen into spell. My book lay open in front of me but my eyes were focusing on something on the wooden-made wall.

It was a happy memory. Even though I had been sad, it was still a sacred moment between Dan and I. Afterwards, as I saw Dan and Serena together, I had no doubt that they were made for each other. Serena's eyes, which usually had a special glimpse, turned into something sparkling whenever she looked upon my brother. And likewise whenever Dan looked upon Serena and her golden aura.

My eyes suddenly became heavy and sleep was pushing and trying to get me to surrender. I tried to fight it, my heart aching to continue with my book, but in the end I had to give up the fight and give in. After all, sleep was a great way to let the time pass.

* * *

**Sergeant Charles Bass' POV**

"Chuck, I want to write a letter to my wife. Anything you want me to add? Perhaps a greeting to Ms. Coupeau?"

I shook my head. I had no interest in letting my _fiancée _ believe I was thinking about her. I was, thinking about her, but it was not in the way I was supposed to. No, my thoughts about her was mostly negative, except the times she agreed to meet me in my sleeping chamber.

Out of nowhere a yawn escaped me and I tried to lock my jaw so that it would not escape me. For days I had not been able to sleep properly. A pair of brown eyes kept hunting me in my sleep and it ruined my sleeping routine. It was good dreams, though, but the image of her kept my mind on constant work and in no condition to relax.

"Nathaniel, I find no need to let Ms. Coupeau believe I actually _care_ about her," I said, "- when, frankly, the woman annoys me and makes me want to give up the inheritance I am to get from my father. Sometimes I wonder whether or not she is worth it."

This time it was Nathaniel who shook his head. Of course I was not going to give up my inheritance, Nate knew that very well, but the thought had passed my thoughts. It would be possible for me to live a nice life with a manor, if only I stayed in the military, but it was safer to inherit the money I was born to be given.

"Chuck, you and I both know that you would never do that. And for your knowledge, I am sure your father would accept another young lady, as long as she is from an acceptable family, has her manners in check and knows her place. Probably why he _asked_ you to propose to a french woman."

I sighed at his statement. My father would accept another young lady of such degree, yes, but I had not found anyone who was nearly as tolerable as Eva. And non who would accompany me at night. Not the ones I would ever call my bride, anyways.

"You are right, Nathaniel. I simply do not see any reason to let my _fiancée_ believe anything which is not true. You would have to be a gentleman to do such, which, obviously, I am not."

He laughed lightly. Then he lay the letter on the ground, rose from his seat on the ground, walked towards Burns and talked to him for a few moments. The pathetic _thing_ gave him a book and Nathaniel returned to his seat. I kept looking at Burns. He was reading in some old book and looked like it was the most exciting thing he had ever experienced. Bored out of my mind, I searched with my eyes around the wagon, searching for nothing in particular but a way to kill time.

Nothing. There was nothing but green grass, trees and a bunch of lazy men to look at.

I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep. I was more tired than I thought and it did not take more than a few minutes for me to fall into slumber. Unfortunately, an odd sound woke me up and I sighed again, once again out of annoyance. My eyes searched for the sound and saw Nate looking down onto the book which was now closed. I smirked.

"Already tired of Burns' literature, Nathaniel?"

"It is _boring_! Honestly, who reads this for fun? I find myself most fortunate that my father never made be read this doing my childhood."

He rose from the ground again and walked back to Burns. Returning again, he let out a tired sigh and turned his body against me.

"Chuck, I can trust you, can I not?"

"Nathaniel, people say a lot about me but one thing is for sure; my loyalty lays with you. Of course you can trust me. But only you."

He smiled at me. It was true. Nathaniel was my best friend and I would never betray him. He had always been like a brother to me and every time my father was about to send me away, Nathaniel and his family let me live at their property and be a part of their lives for a little while. Sadly, I was closer and more comfortable around Nathaniel's parents than my own father.

"I am thinking about annulling my marriage with Jennifer."

"You must be joking." I said, but as I looked at him I could tell he was certainly _not_ joking. "Are you _out of your mind_, Nathaniel? Why would you want to do that?"

He looked as though he was about to drop the topic but then chose different. He swallowed hard and looked at me.

"Because I am in love."

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